Learned Helplessness: The Hidden Barrier to Mental Toughness

Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you try, things just never seem to change?

That’s not just bad luck. It might be something deeper: learned helplessness.

Learned helplessness is a psychological state where a person believes they have no control over their situation, so they stop trying, even when opportunities to change their circumstances are right in front of them. It’s not laziness. It’s not weakness. It’s a mindset, often formed through repeated experiences of failure, disappointment, or punishment.

In the context of mental toughness, it’s one of the biggest blocks people face. And the good news is, like any mindset, it can be changed.

Where Learned Helplessness Comes From

The term was coined in the 1960s by psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven Maier. In their early experiments, they observed that dogs subjected to unavoidable electric shocks eventually stopped trying to escape, even when the shock became avoidable. They had learned they were helpless, and their behaviour reflected that belief.

Humans do the same thing. If you've tried and failed enough times - whether that’s in relationships, careers, health goals, or personal development - you start to internalise the belief that nothing you do makes a difference. Over time, your motivation erodes. You stop taking action. You stop hoping.

That’s the danger. Because when you feel powerless, you don’t build the skills or resilience to cope - and you become even more vulnerable to life’s challenges.

What Mental Toughness Has to Say About That

Doug Strycharczyk, one of the leading voices on Mental Toughness and co-author of Developing Mental Toughness, has highlighted how learned helplessness is the opposite of mental toughness. It’s rooted in a lack of perceived control - one of the four C’s in the Mental Toughness model.

Here’s how learned helplessness erodes the 4Cs:

• Control: You believe external forces determine your outcomes. You feel like a passenger in your own life
• Commitment: You don’t stick at things, because you believe it won’t matter anyway
• Challenge: You avoid risk and uncertainty, because you’re sure it will end badly
• Confidence: You don’t believe in your abilities or your worth, so you stop trying altogether

The more you operate in this state, the more you reinforce it. It becomes a vicious cycle. But here’s the shift: Mental Toughness isn’t about never feeling helpless. It’s about not staying there.

Reversing Learned Helplessness: Practical Steps

Strycharczyk’s work shows that mental toughness can be measured, trained, and developed. This is huge , because it means you’re not stuck with the mindset you have today.

Here’s how to start reversing learned helplessness through the 4Cs:

1. Build a Sense of Control

Ask yourself: What can I control right now, even if it’s tiny?

Start with your morning routine, your thoughts, your reactions to setbacks. Take ownership of your time, your habits, your environment. This builds personal agency - the belief that you’re the one driving your life.

Quick exercise: Each morning, write down one thing you will do today, no matter what. Stick to it.

2. Reignite Commitment

Commitment is about consistency, not perfection. Learned helplessness makes people flake when results aren’t instant. Mentally tough people keep going, especially when it’s boring or difficult.

Quick exercise: Set one micro-goal for the week. Not a huge transformation - just a small win. Track it. Celebrate it.

3. Reframe Challenges

Instead of thinking “Why is this happening to me?”, mentally tough people ask, “What can I learn from this?”

Failure becomes data. Discomfort becomes a sign of growth.

Quick exercise: Write down one recent setback. Then list three things it taught you, or how it could make you stronger.

4. Rebuild Confidence

Confidence isn’t about swagger - it’s about trust. When you keep promises to yourself, take action in spite of fear, and look back on challenges you’ve overcome, you prove to yourself that you can cope.

Quick exercise: Make a “Proof List” of 5 things you’ve done that scared you. Keep it somewhere visible.

Final Thoughts

Learned helplessness doesn’t mean you’re broken. It just means your brain has rehearsed a belief - and now it’s time to update that script.

Mental Toughness is not about pretending everything is fine. It’s about equipping yourself to handle life as it is - and knowing you can navigate the highs, the lows, and everything in between.

You don’t have to make radical overnight changes. Just pick one thing. Start there. Start small. And keep going.

Because the moment you stop saying “What’s the point?” and start saying “What can I do?”... everything changes.

Credit: The 4Cs model of Mental Toughness was developed by Professor Peter Clough and Doug Strycharczyk (AQR International).