Confidence: What Is it, and how can you develop it?

Confidence: What Is it, and how can you develop it?

Confidence is one of those things people either think you’re born with or just magically acquire. But the truth is, confidence isn’t a personality trait- it’s a mental skill. And it’s one you can train, shape and build, just like any muscle.

In the 4Cs model of Mental Toughness developed by Peter Clough and expanded in Doug Strycharczyk’s book Developing Mental Toughness, confidence is one of the four core components that shape how we think, feel, and behave when under pressure.

The model breaks it down into two parts:
Confidence in Abilities - Do I believe I can do this?
Interpersonal Confidence - Can I speak up, influence others, and be heard?

Together, these form the bedrock of how we operate in the world - at work, in relationships, under pressure, and in pursuit of our goals.

Why Confidence Matters

When we talk about confidence in the context of mental toughness, we’re not talking about ego, bravado, or walking into a room like you own it. We’re talking about the inner belief that you can handle whatever gets thrown at you. You may not know how it’ll turn out, but you know you’ll figure it out.

That kind of self-trust changes everything.

It allows you to speak up in a meeting, take on a challenge, learn a new skill, lead a team, or step into a totally unfamiliar situation, and back yourself.

As Doug Strycharczyk explains, confidence fuels performance. It affects how you act under pressure, how you recover from failure, and how you influence others. It doesn’t guarantee success - but a lack of it almost guarantees you'll play small.

So Where Does Confidence Come From?

Confidence isn’t built through success. It’s built through action, especially when things feel tough, uncertain or scary.You build confidence when you:

• Take risks, even if you’re scared
• Bounce back after setbacks
• Push your limits
• Keep promises to yourself
• Speak up, even when your voice shakes

Confidence grows every time you do the hard thing, survive it, and look back and say, “I got through that. I can do it again.”

It’s not about feeling fearless. It’s about feeling the fear and cracking on anyway.

How to grow both types of confidence

1. Confidence in Abilities
This is about trusting your skills, knowledge and capability. It doesn’t mean you know everything - it means you believe you can learn, adapt and figure things out.

To develop it:

Track your wins Keep a log of things you’ve done well or overcome. When self-doubt creeps in, this is your reminder that you’re more capable than you think.

Practice under pressure The more you rehearse, role-play or simulate stressful situations (presenting, interviews, high-stakes decisions), the more confident you'll feel when it’s for real.

Learn something new Every time you step into a learning zone, you're reinforcing the belief that growth is possible. That’s real confidence in action.

Interpersonal Confidence
This is about how you relate to others - speaking up, asserting yourself, leading or influencing.

To develop it:

Speak in small settings Start with low-stakes moments: a meeting, a brainstorm, a team check-in. Confidence builds with repetition.

Use strong body language Shoulders back. Head up. Eye contact. Sounds simple, but your physiology can trigger your psychology. You’ll feel more confident when you stand like you mean it.

Say what you think You don’t need to be loud, but you do need to be clear. Practice saying what you believe, even if it’s uncomfortable.

The Link Between Confidence and the Other Cs

What’s powerful about the 4Cs model is how interconnected it is. When your confidence is low, your control starts to slide - you feel like life’s happening to you. You might shy away from challenges, and your commitment can crumble.

But when you start to build one area, the others often rise too.

Think about it like this:

• When you feel in control of your responses (not overwhelmed by stress), you make better decisions.
• When you commit to something and follow through, you prove to yourself that you can.
• When you stretch yourself in a challenge and survive it, you trust yourself a little more.
• And all of that builds confidence.

Confidence isn’t reserved for extroverts or natural leaders. It’s for anyone who’s willing to do the work, get uncomfortable, and keep going - even when it feels uncertain.

As Doug Strycharczyk puts it, mental toughness (and confidence within it) isn’t about becoming invincible. It’s about becoming resilient, focused, and consistent - especially when the pressure’s on.

So if you’re waiting to feel confident before you act, flip the script. Act first. The confidence will follow.

Penny Mallory is one of the Uk's top motivational keynote speakers on resilience and mental toughness.